OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize