Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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