just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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