I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
