I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
