Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
