I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
