Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
