**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize