Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
