I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
