I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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