Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
