I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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