god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
