i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Even the bartender felt bad for me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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