He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
