New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
