my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
