I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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