all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
