Will you blow on my dice?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
