There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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