He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
