Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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