I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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