So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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