He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
