You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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