So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
