nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
