she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
