im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
