You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
