i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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