I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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