Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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