Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
