i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
