I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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