i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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