He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize