I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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