xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
