I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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