I have demons in me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
