Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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