But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
