I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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