Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
