How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
